The nuts and bolts of how we manage our finances with a large family. We’ll talk everything from food to entertainment to healthcare!
Back in 2011, a reader asked me to elaborate more on how we made our finances work for a large family and also answer those who would say it is fiscally irresponsible to have more children.
This is what our family looked like back then…
That was 11 years ago, and while our financial philosophies haven’t changed all that much, our family and our world has changed quite a bit!
Here’s what we look like now…
Not all of these people live with us, so I should probably clarify a bit so you know exactly how many people I am feeding and caring for.
Most of the year, we have 7 kids in the household. Four-ish months out of the year, our college student is home, and while she has a part-time job, she is still our dependent in every sense of the word.
Another disclaimer…
Back in 2011, my husband was in the civilian world, working for a non-profit. Now, he is full-time military, so while I’ll be talking about the healthcare program we used in 2011, we currently have Tricare through the military. However, we still HIGHLY recommend that program, so it’s worth explaining!
And finally, my husband is a Captain in the Army. You are welcome to look up exactly what we make because it is public knowledge. I also make a small income from the blog. So, technically, we are a dual income family. However, back in 2011, we were not. I will be melding information and ideas from both worlds.
Now that you know who we were and who we are now, let’s move forward with why this series is so important!
How much does it cost to raise kids?
For most families, finances are a concern at some point in their lives. Since our modern society has come to believe children are a drain on our finances and cost us far more than they are worth, we believe having more of these little parasites will only lead to financial ruin.
Here’s what U.S. News says about how much it costs to raise one child to adulthood!
This directly goes against what the Bible says about children. Children are called a blessing in the Bible. We like to tell ourselves that was in an agrarian society and no longer applies to us, but that would suggest God’s Word isn’t the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You cannot pick through the Bible that way. You must believe what it says about everything…including what it says about children.
So, IF we believe children are a blessing, we have to believe having more would lead to more blessings in some way, shape, or form.
Does that mean having more children will mean more financial blessings? Not necessarily.
God loves your children more than you do, and He will provide for you and them. However, He may not OVER-provide. I’m not about to preach prosperity gospel to you and suggest that the type of blessing God is talking about when He speaks of children will be a financial blessing. But, I will tell you with the birth of each and every one of our children has come the ability to pay for the new addition to our family.
How do you afford a large family?
That’s a big question, and one I don’t think I can answer in one post. I’m going to break this question up into several pieces, and since the most asked question about affording kids is how to feed them, I’ll start there!
Posts in this series:
Introduction – this post
How do I Afford to Feed my Large Family?
How do I Afford to Educate my Large Family?
How do I Afford to Entertain my Large Family?
How do I Afford to Keep my Large Family Healthy?
Check out my Large Family page for even more Large Family Resources!
Andrea says
I find that the naysayers on having more kids due to finances generally have different priorities than we do. Having the latest greatest toy is not the most important thing in our house. Enjoying time together as a family is much more important to us so more of our money would be spent on family outings than new toys. I do think my children have more *things* than they need or even should have but that is due to Grandma’s overspending not ours LOL. By me being a stay at home mom I find that I have more time to cook food which saves us more money for our family than when I was working, with little extra time for cooking, and eating out a lot. Our family isnt overly large as we will be adding #4 soon but I find that life seems to work out even if it isnt always how I envision it. The little things we do seem to help though.
Amy says
I need a like button for comments! Well said!
Jamerrill says
I wholeheartly agree. I wasted far more $ when I was working full-time & keeping up w/ the world. Jesus has always taken care of us. Being on a budget (another word the world hates) and some creativity go along way. It’s all worth it to be home with these blessings!
Melody says
Thank you for posting this today! I’m really looking forward to reading the series. I’m expecting #4 and am definitely curious to see what you have to say.
We keep going back to how God says children are blessings and how God also says He will provide for us. Our family has been through some really tough financial times, and never once have we gone hungry. God has provided for us in some really amazing ways. Why should we think that would be any different just because we’re adding another blessing to our family???
Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading more!
Kimberly says
The naysayers simply have vastly different priorities Amy.
When we decided to try public Kindergarten for our daughter, after homeschooling our oldest (and were NOT pleased, for many reasons), I was floored by the comment of the Mom a little classmate of hers. The career woman looked down her nose at me (as I talked about our decision to go back to homeschooling the following year), sniffed, and said, “I suppose home school is all right…if you are THAT IN TO your kids.” and walked away.
Thank you for the confirmation that we made the correct decision. People who aren’t “That in to” their kids, frankly, scare me…
Amy says
Those sorts of comments make my heart hurt.
Carrie says
I agree with the commenter above that having different priorities is a big thing that makes our finances work out. We have had to sacrifice things like cable and going out to eat every other day. My poor, deprived kids don’t have DSs like everyone else. But I don’t much care, and they really don’t either. I could put the kids in school and go to work to afford a bunch of crap that would clutter up my house and make me crazy. Or I can get creative, and be obedient to God’s will for my life, and be blessed beyond measure.
Dan says
the financial concerns are actually short-sighted. Those children may be supporting you when you’re older!
Amy says
Very astute! I think our society as a whole is rather short-sighted. We live so much in the here and now that we forget there is a future out there.
Mel @ Trailing After God says
I agree! Children are a blessing! I am thankful for my four but also thankful for modern technology that allowed us to decide that my body couldn’t handle any more. And I almost laugh when people ask how we afford it, as if there is an option not to? 🙂
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
karyn says
I do understand what the commenters are saying about setting financial priorities. I’m fine with driving an old van and wearing thrift shop clothes so that I can stay home and homeschool my four. However, I do feel some guilt, or at least some unease, when I see some of the incredible opportunities some children of smaller families have, such as trips or science camps. And I feel bad about not being able to buy some quality things, like organic produce. I don’t worry about the sacrifices my husband and I have to make – but I sometimes worry about the sacrifices my children have to make. And I know that these sacrifices help the children grow but I, like any other parent, wish I could give them the best. And society says that I could give them the best – if we don’t have any more children and I went back to work. I just keep praying!
Amy says
Karyn,
I just wanted to offer you a bit of food for thought – would you feel guilty if you didn’t know about these things or weren’t surrounded by a culture that tells you these things are important? I love Doug Phillips’ analogy of a Desert Island…If you lived on a desert island with nothing but your Bible, how would you live your life? Ultimately, God fills in the gaps. And oftentimes, what we perceive as gaps aren’t really. God has blessed you richly in a way others may never understand. {hugs} to you.
Jimmie says
Those sacrifices help build their character (as long as the family has the right attitude toward the lack).
Jimmie says
That previous message was for Karyn. (I didn’t realize the comments wouldn’t nest.)
Amy, I look forward to hearing what you have to say about this topic. I have “only” one, and I am grateful for what God has given. There are many blessings that come from a large family. A small family has unique blessings too. Being content with what God has granted us, knowing what He wants for us, and having faith in His provision are the foundations of this discussion.
Amy says
Yes! Contentment is key.
Penny Tocheri says
The FINANCIAL FREEDOM SEMINAR is an absolute amazing encouragement for large (or any size) family! This in the one the DUGGAR Family credits for their debt-free living philosophy. It is available from Institute of Basic Life Principles.
Amy says
I heard the Duggars speak a couple of weeks ago and they mentioned this seminar. I did not feel I could say anything about it since we have not used it, but I’m glad you mentioned it!
Sonita Lewis says
Just skimmed though the comments and didn’t see this mentioned-but I read a study recently that said (forgive me I forget specifics) our house (sq ft) keep getting bigger and our families smaller. I find that very sad.
I know (with my medical condition) I’m unlikely to have any more children than the two I have-but I would love to have a big family.
Now, I only have 2-but I find, they really don’t cost that much extra. Seriously. The stats I’ve seen on how much it costs to raise a kid blow my mind. But, I’m not going to budget a cell phone bill into my monthly expenses for a 7 year old. I also buy most things used. And try to buy multi-function things when I can.
Simple things like breastfeeding, cloth diapers, baby-led weaning and home cooking and such are not only good for you and baby-they are also very frugal.
Amy says
Sonita,
I read those same statistics and thought the same thing! Someone out there must be spending that much, but it definitely isn’t me!
Sonita Lewis says
We moved to a house twice the size of our old one 2 years ago-but we did it to save money and be next door to my parents 🙂
We bought a 5 bedroom mobile home and spend less than we were paying to rent a 5 room (total) house!
Plus I intended to fill it with children 🙂 LOL but I guess that will wait until our adoption plans of teen sibling groups once our kids move out.
Suanna says
Children are a blessing from God, why should I try to tell God not to bless me anymore. I know he will provide for all our needs. I’m looking forward to your next post.
Teresa says
First the family is just so cute. Your oldest daughter looks so much like you while the oldest son like your husband. We have five children and the Lord has taken the possibility for more due to complications with the last. Although we really didn’t plan on having more it is something I am still dealing with not having that choice.
We are asked that question often when we are out as I take them all with me everywhere I go. I also hear “How can you do it all?” I always wonder what they mean by “ALL.” Yes we home school, take music lessons (piano, violin, and harp), and let the older one take one sport a year, but is that really so much. We don’t watch TV or go to the bars and just hang out with our friends. If the world would give up some of their themselves time for there kids we would all be much better off.
God provides every time we have had a need, it is not always when we want or maybe how we thought, but it was really what we needed. Our last child’s birth expenses cost over $75,000 and God provided it all and all from caring Christian’s. If your living in Christ he will guide your way. It is not just a blind trust it is a relationship with the only one that is all possible.
Casey says
I just wanted to say hi and that I am your newest follower. Your post was right on, it is what we do! Great tips. Oh I am also following you on twitter @caseysgoodlife I hope you have a blessed day
Rebekah Orozco says
I am the mother of 6 and 7 on the way and my husband works a part time job! (He is working on building his own business that brings SOME income occasionally.) Bottom line, the LORD provides! He has given us hearts that are content with what we have. We do go ‘without’ allot of things that most people have, but we are together most our day and we live without the stress of this modern world! The children will look back on their childhood and get to say they really KNOW their daddy! I am blessed the Lord gave me a husband that REALLY desires spending time with his children!
I agree the statistics on how much a child cost is amazingly wrong! I think we have bought clothes for one of our children one time. Because people are always blessing us with clothes. Our garage is our ‘storehouse’! We could probably open a boutique!!
Speaking of head coverings, there is a blog I follow called Journey of the Veil. Look at the section called ‘a womans hair is not enough’. My husband and I feel the scripture is pretty clear, but this makes it even clearer!
Blessings on all you wonderful mothers trusting the Lord with your wombs,
Rebekah
Amy says
Very interesting! Thank you for sharing!
Liz says
I heard also (think it was an archive of Dr Mohler’s radio show) that those scary cost estimates for raising kids not only include things like cable TV and all new clothes, but graduate school and things that that which may not be on the agenda for most people. And to my mind it is not unreasonable to expect that the child, by the time they are the age to be doing a graduate degree, could maybe be working as well to fund that study????
I think this fear of not being able to manage financially is a natural thing, but aren’t we told that our natural state is something to be won over and submitted to God, rather than “it’s natural” being an excuse? One mom I know told me the other day that she would be glad when her 2-year-old son went to nursery because then she could “get her life back”. I couldn’t even respond, it made me so sad, because she is a person who I always thought really valued her kids. And I know loads of other moms who feel the same way. We have been so indoctrinated into believing that we are not worth anything if we don’t go out to work; I think that has contributed to even Christian moms (and older ladies) not really supporting each other when it comes to managing our families and loving them.
Grrrr.
Renea says
I like this blog. And everything I have read is so good. The fact that you (Amy) are raising children to live for Christ is amazing. Living for Christ is so much better then living for yourself. Some people are not called to marry and have children. Some are called to have only one (if they get married), and others like you and your husband are called to have many. Children are a blessing and should be treated like such. If God wanted us treat our children like a ‘financial burden’ then He wouldn’t have sent His precious Son to die on a cross for our sins. That cost Him (Christ) everything. So when we as humans are so arrogant to think that many children are a burden then they have not experienced the love God has for us even though we cost His Son His life.
Good news, Christ is resurrected and we can live for Him because of it. No more living to ourselves and all the empty things we can buy. Whatever it may be.
Love you all In Christ,
Renea
Tori says
In my observation. GOD WILL SUPPLY, often means using government funds for food, clothing or housing. Is this following God’s plan in having large families you cannot afford and forcing others to carry your responsibilities? It’s often just a selfish way to live to avoid a job outside of being at home.
Staci says
When families rely on those supports it’s because of outside circumstances affecting the families finances- not the amount of children existing in the home.
Yes there are always bad apples that take advantage of resources and programs more than their share but very rarely if ever are they the ones who rely on God and acknowledge their duty to raise the children He’s given them…
I’m sorry ma’am but your comment is very presumptuous and uneducated to the actual reality of what hard times and financial struggles are for large, God fearing families.