From technology to extracurricular activities, all the extras can really add up! Get ideas to handle all the entertainment for your family!
Let me be honest here. I do not believe it is my job to ENTERTAIN my children. I am not a fan of the incessant whine of the words, “I’m bored.”
But, since the Cost of Raising a Child factors in “entertainment,” I thought I should probably address this.
So, what all constitutes Entertainment? In my opinion, it would be anything that occurs during a child’s leisure time. This would be anything from playing on the computer to watching a movie to playing outside or participating in extracurricular activities. Because of this, I will readily admit Entertaining a child *could* easily get expensive. New computers, theatre tickets, sports equipment and zoo memberships aren’t free.
But are they necessary?
Every family is going to be different on what they deem necessary. No matter what you choose for your family, let me give you one rule of thumb on which to base every decision…
NEVER PARENT BY GUILT
As parents, we often find ourselves manipulated by the media, the grandparents, the next door neighbors, and even our own children.
*The media tells us EVERY kid has the latest, greatest electronic gadget. We don’t want our kids to be behind the times.
*The relatives tell us they want to get the latest thing as a gift for our child. We don’t want to have to say no.
*The neighbors and peer groups tell us their kids are doing such and such. We don’t want to look odd.
*Our children give us those sad, puppy-dog eyes as they beg us for just this one little thing. We hate to disappoint them.
But parenting by guilt is not a good way to parent. We already know that. We have to learn to put it into practice.
So, when it comes to Entertainment as an expense of raising children, we have to decide how far we are willing it. Are we willing to be manipulated by the culture or do we have a clear understanding of what types of products and activities are worthwhile to own and do.
While I cannot make these decisions for you, here are a few of the ways we discern which “entertainment” items are worth the money and which ones are better left in the store (for a list of how we choose extracurricular activities, go to my Family First Activities list).
Child’s age
An example of a product that we would have to factor age into would be a cell phone. A cell phone is an Entertainment item until it becomes a Necessary item. And it is NOT a necessary item until my kids start working outside the home. Before that, it is a waste of money and even a potential hazard to your child’s well-being, considering how much sway social media and the internet seem to have on young children’s minds.
READ >> Do Homeschool Kids Need Cell Phones
Child’s level of responsibility
The bottom line here is CAN WE TRUST HIM or HER? Suppose you buy your child an electronic device and within a week it has been stepped on repeatedly by younger siblings. This isn’t entirely a matter of younger siblings being naughty. It is also about the owner of the electronic device being irresponsible with their property.
{Note: DO NOT set your child up for failure here. Our older children own lock boxes. They have a key and I have a key. In these lock boxes are things they do not want touched by younger siblings who have an uncanny knack for getting into things.}
If you know your child is not a responsible individual, then DO NOT give them entertainment items they will need to be responsible with.
Does it take AWAY from the family?
As I mentioned in my post on choosing activities for your family to participate in, if an entertainment item will place a wedge in relationships within the family, RUN FROM IT!
And be HONEST with yourself!
Will buying that video game player foster family relationships or create obsessed and distant children?
Will playing Little League baseball bring the family closer together or make life unbearable with endless games and practices?
Only you and your family can answer the hard questions it takes to truly discern if an entertainment item/activity is a family-builder or a family-breaker.
Is it God-honoring?
I can often be heard saying,
“It might be fun, but that doesn’t make it appropriate.”
Whether or not something is FUN is not a good way to choose what you do for entertainment. I know that sounds contradictory, but think of it this way…
Getting drunk might be fun, but it is not a beneficial way to spend an evening.
Stop thinking with your emotions and start analyzing through a better lens…a Biblical worldview. Things do not have to be overtly Christian to be God-honoring. God owns it all. It is either in harmony with Him or discordant with Him. (see the book Assumptions for more!)
Can we do it cheaper?
Some of us go out to eat for entertainment. Some of us go to movies. Some of us like to bungee jump. {not me…but I’m sure there’s someone reading this who thinks that is fun!}
Whatever it is you like to do, if saving money is the goal, then look for a cheaper way to do it. As you know from my post on eating out with kids, we have lots of ways we do this when it comes to eating out. Perhaps you could Google some of your favorite restaurant recipes and try them at home. If movies are your thing, consider a streaming subscription instead of taking everyone to the theater all the time. If bungee jumping is your cup of tea…well…please don’t try a cheap alternative. 😉
Whatever your family chooses as entertainment, realize it is a personal decision. Just remember, your children don’t NEED to be entertained by a million gadgets and a million events. Life can be plenty of fun without all the extras. But, it starts with you. Smile more. Sing more. Enjoy the life you have and quit looking for fulfillment elsewhere!
Contentment, my friends, is cheap and absolutely priceless.
Affording Kids Series:
Introduction
How do I Afford to Feed my Large Family?
How do I Afford to Educate my Large Family?
How do I Afford to Entertain my Large Family? – this post
How do I Afford to Keep my Large Family Healthy?
Carla B says
Thanks for this post. I find we are constantly bombarded with options (and guilt)for all the things our kids should be doing to be truly enriched or reach their potential. We do very little in the way of extra curricular entertainment, sports, etc. Mostly because it’s all really expensive and we live out of town (too much driving). I can’t imagine being on the go playing chauffeur all day every day as our family is pulled in different directions. We like to have cheap fun as a family (backyard sports, at home movies etc). Last summer we bought a little old sail boat (my husband spent spare time this winter renovating). This summer’s recreation will be sailing, teaching the kids skills and having family adventures. I’d rather do that then have video game consuls, and kids in every team sport imaginable.
tamela says
I was holding my husband’s hand last evening as we stood and watched our 3 sons and I hugged him and said *Here we are all together with no concerns of the outside world, together, isn’t this a Blessing* We have so much to be grateful for~ That is entertainment for me~ Thanks for your post Amy~ Many Blessings to all~
Christy dR says
Haha, you made me laugh with the ” if you like to bungee jump, please don’t take the cheaper alternative.” I think it’s so important to have your children learn to play on their own. I have so much more time because my 3 yr old can. 🙂 Then I have free entertainment watching him!
Kim Crawford says
I love your comment about being a “family building” activity instead of a “family breaking”. So much of our culture today has each family member running in a different direction, all in the name of finding out what “interests” each particular child. I have watched the results in children I know whose focus is on “me” and not on what is best for others first.
One idea that our family friends have begun is a Family Sports Day. We meet as a whole family to play soccer, volleyball, softball and share in a devotional time. The joy is that we can all go together and each person can enjoy physical activity. This runs for eight Saturdays in early summer. It is a great option to replace each child being involved in separate sports and running in different directions.
Kara at The Chuppies says
I love this reminder…not to parent out of guilt…and the need for frequent evaluation.
Thank you!
Mary Joy @Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace says
Once again you have hit the nail on the head, Amy. There are SO many alternatives to temp us to feel guilt about the choices that we are making to be family building instead of using all of our time and money running from event to event to practice to practice…and then there’s every child in a separate part of the house alone with electronics not participating as a family.
Thanks for this post! I am completely on board with this one! 😀
Building Home with Him,
Mary Joy
Brandy @Brandy's Brood says
Love this!! So RIGHT ON!
Allison says
Please share what kind of lock boxes you use! Just regular cash box like thing or what??? I have been struggling to think of what to do with the big kid stuff that the littles always seem to get into! Excellent idea! Right now its a high shelf but then they always need help getting items down. 🙂
Amy says
We bought a fireproof safe (Sentry brand maybe?) But yes, a cash box would work as well or a box you can padlock. Anything that keeps their things locked away and fits the items they need kept safe. 🙂
Allison says
Thanks! This is such an excellent idea. Cannot wait to go find some lock boxes now. lol
Clara says
This is SO important! We have very “strict” opinions on what our children can and can’t do in their leisure time. We’ve even had family take offence at what we won’t allow our children to do, but when it all comes down to it, we are responsible to God (not our relatives or friends) for our decisions when raising our children. And what they do in their spare time absolutely must honour God!
We’ve really tried to get non-specific entertainment options for our kids – ie. not something that is done once or twice and is then boring. For example, we chose to buy a good selection of lego because it lasts a long time, it is creative and the options with it go as far as the imagination can go… It spans both genders, many age groups, and can be either an individual OR a full family form of entertainment. Things like video/computer games can be so specific (age group, gender, personality etc really come into it a lot!), so we personally choose to not have any!
I agree with all your points – they are all so important!
Valerie says
Excellent reminders, thanks!
aurie says
This is wonderful! I’ve missed the first part of your series so I need to go back and read from the beginning!
While we don’t have a large family yet (we’re working on it!) we try to live simply and within our means. We are lucky to have several outdoor play places near us which is wonderful! We also budget for season passes to the zoo and the children’s museum for even more fun! But – ou favorite activity is splashing in the rain 🙂
Rebecca says
This was a very good post! We don’t get TV, but my children like to watch movies occasionally…..just wanted to recommed the Torchlighter series of DVDs. They are animated videos of Christian martyrs, past and present and they are so good! My kids have watched them OVER and OVER. They are each about 1/2 hour long, just the right amount of time. My kids are still pretty young, (the oldest is almost 7) so a lot of it goes over their heads, but they can follow the storyline and as they grow older, these stories will become ingrained in them. I love that they are learning that it is noble to suffer for Jesus, and nothing to fear. This is entertainment and education at the same time. Love the other suggestions I have read as well! 🙂
Shonda says
I love how you finished this – It Begins With You!! That is soo true! Thank you 🙂 We are wrapping up spring break- and we spent it relaxing at home and my kids said it was great! They are in public school right now- but that will all change next year!
Jen says
I’m probably going to be on the “unpopular” end for voicing this- but I feel that extra curriculars are very important for kids.
Now that my big ones are well into their teen years, I am very proud of how their sports teams have heightened their self confidence (daughter plays on a boys rep baseball team), have provided first job opportunities (umpiring and music operating at our local rink) and allows them to spend time with like minded peers- outside of a shopping mall 🙂
It has also turned into a great social activity for my hubby- he’s such a fantastic man- he coaches three baseball teams! He enjoys his summer evenings in the park, has met other dads and has spent admirable quality time with our daughters.
Their activities are expensive- currently being on maternity leave at the moment- we feel the pinch more than ever….but I will still continue to prioritize their activities due to all off the huge pluses that they have given our kids. Time commitment has also been substantial…being home with two littles while hubby and big ones are at a tournament, game or practice can sometimes be frustrating- but their happiness when they get back home! Worth my petty struggles 🙂
In my opinion- very much worth the cost of time and family funds!
Staci says
My husband and I have made the hard and fast rule of not having a tv in the house. Our kids are little still and so it’s their normal and they have no reason to miss it. Instead we have a library and keep building it for when they get older. Books are gifts and the best surprise we can come up with for special occasions. We have family reading time before bed and it’s really builds on our family culture, gives us inside jokes and references of lessons learned by characters when the kids come up to something similar.
We also prize classical music. It’s mainly the only music they know and they already have favourite pieces and composers, they truly enjoy the music and think of stories to go with each song. Would they do that if they were used to a tv providing the story for them all the time? I doubt it.
The best part is that we have the time and zero pressure to intentionally choose what fills our kids free time and actually puts them in a position to make their own fun. Their creativity in play always amazes me and they’re very close as siblings as a result, I’ve only seen screens divide families with their daily use… I don’t want that for mine!
There was a surprising benefit of not spending our money on streaming television and movies- our children are calmer (not perfect, but manageable most of the time). My oldest is special needs and is easily stimulated and anxious, when he would watch tv at my mom’s he would take hours to fall asleep. Now because he spends most of his day moving and using all his brain power to read at his level whatever he can get his hands on- he’s perfectly tired enough come bedtime.
This is a great and balanced post! I always appreciate your input Amy, you’ve really helped me see that having a large family isn’t impossible! God bless!