Earlier this week, I told you about how I grew up with a father who had lived through the Depression, and how that had made me “naturally” frugal. (read the post here) Today, I want to tell you how his legacy lives on in my family still today.
For those of you wondering, my father passed away in 2007. He was 82 and had Alzheimer’s. I wrote about the process of letting him go in this post. I still miss him terribly.
Don’t forget to read the original post!
#1 – Keep the lights off, and choose your light switches carefully.
This law of frugality has stayed exactly the same for our family. The only thing that is different is that we DO use candles year round. (Sorry dad, I’m willing to sacrifice for the simple pleasures.) My husband (who, by the way, is an awfully lot like my dad) is forever going through the house shutting off lights whilst lecturing on the finer points of energy consumption.
#2 – Utility bills are still a challenge.
My husband, like my father, goes through every utility bill and decides if we can do better the next month and what our strategy will be to get the bill lowered. A couple of months ago it was the water bill. Shower times got cut back, settings on the dishwasher got changed, and we all looked for ways to cut back on how much water we were using. And it worked! The bill was lower the next month!
#3 – Some things we fix, some things someone else fixes.
My husband is not a handyman. He will fix some things himself, and our son has learned to do quite a few handyman jobs around the house as well, but they both know when they need to get someone else to do the work so it gets done right the first time. As I said in the previous post, being frugal can get quite expensive when you don’t know what you’re doing.
#4 – “Do we really need this?
I still question every purchase this way. However, I will say it is easy to convince yourself that you really do need things you really do NOT need. Many Depression-era children ended up with a hoarding problem as adults. The habit of keeping everything became a habit of finding a “deal” that turned into a habit of buying things they did not need.
I do want to take a moment here to talk about being frugal to a fault. Sometimes in a quest to save money, we do things that don’t make good sense or we don’t do things that in the long run will not have a big impact on our finances.
For instance, a high priced supermarket offers 10 cents off on each gallon of gas. In order to get that 10 cents off you have to buy a certain dollar amount of groceries every month. You also have to use their affiliated gas station, which happens to be out of your way. It sounds great, but when you do the math, you realize you’re driving across town and only saving a little over a dollar when you fill up, yet spending scads more than that shopping at that high priced supermarket. That does not make good sense.
On the other hand, perhaps you turn down a great opportunity for your family because you’d have to buy an extra tank of gas that month to get all of you there. If this opportunity will have lasting positive effects for your family, then think long and hard about giving up that opportunity. We cannot take our money with us when we die. Don’t spend your whole life waiting to live.
#5 – We don’t throw money around, and we don’t make a big deal about the things we can’t afford.
In fact, my husband will always correct me when I say, “We can’t afford that,” with, “We could afford it, but we choose not to.” Most of the time, we just don’t talk about the stuff we can’t afford. As I said in the previous post, that sort of talk tends to make people covetous.
#6 – Our kids aren’t handed a lot of stuff, and we spend a lot of time with them.
Our kids do not have everything their little hearts desire. I’ve found in families where the children’s whims are catered to, they are not very grateful children. They sort of expect to get scads of toys for Christmas, and a new gadget every time they go to the store. We have a whole nation of grown-up children expecting things to be a certain way for them, and I’m not interested in raising those kinds of adults.
We also try very hard to spend quality AND quantity time with our kids. I want to know who they are, and I want them to know I am there for them.
#7 – We splurge responsibly.
When we spend money on something that is not a need, we do so with careful forethought. And then we dive in! We enjoy the splurge, we try to find ways to bless others with the splurge, and we take some time before splurging again.
#8 – We don’t have any debt.
Yes, you read that right. In our marriage, we’ve made 3 purchases with loans – 2 vehicles and a small student loan. We never felt comfortable with any of them, and paid them all off as quickly as possible. The last one was paid off over 10 years ago, and we have lived debt free ever since. Some people don’t understand why we choose to rent rather than buy. Some people don’t understand why we aren’t willing to take out a loan for a vehicle. But, many times over we have been able to take opportunities that have come our way BECAUSE we have not been tied down by debt. It has been wonderfully freeing!
Got questions? Feel free to ask! You can also read more of my Frugal Living posts here on Raising Arrows, and check out my Frugal Living board on Pinterest.
Andrea says
Our most recent “big” purchase came after the birth of our 7th child. We have a mini van that will seat 8. So if we wanted to go anywhere as a family, it involved driving two vehicles. The search for a 12 passenger van was afoot. A USED van. Even used, those can be pretty pricey. We had been tucking away $25.00 per week for a van purchase for quite a while, but had only accrued $4,000. While searching the internet, we found a used van, 12 passenger, 1991, with 50,000 miles on it, new tires. And a yellowish lime green sort of color with a fat strip of white around the middle. Like a bright greenish yellow Oreo. It had been used by a fire department and was painted to match their fleet. The price? $4,000. Now I had been dreaming of a nice van with a cd player, automatic everything, maybe just a couple of years old. But those were all $12,000 to $24,000 and the mileage was definitely reflected in the price. My husband wanted that yellow van. I did not – simply because of pride and vanity. It was ugly. And old. But we drove the 2 hours to look it over, give it a test drive and we bought it with cash. For $3,500. The dealer gave us $20.00 cash for the gas tank as well.
Our family affectionately named the van Big Bird, even though we don’t watch tv and only our 17 year old has seen sesame street. We took Big Bird for inspection and it passed with flying colors (no pun intended.) Our mechanic was fairly amazed at the wonderful condition it was in and we knew we had gotten a very good deal. My gracious hubby agreed to a cheap paint job at a national chain (we got what we paid for. ahem.) and now the van is real shiny and cherry red. Its a beast, but I love it and so do our kids. We call it Clifford.
The point is, we COULD have bought a pricier vehicle without going in to debt. We chose not to. We truly believe that God gave us the opportunity to get the van that was specifically the price of our “van savings account.” And in my sin I wanted to turn it down. Thankfully, my husband is the leader and he is more mature than I.
Amy says
What a great story! Our van was bought at a government auction and was in impeccable condition as well. They are required to keep those things in good working order, so it is usually a good choice to buy one like you bought. What a great story of God’s provision!
Sarah in Maryland says
Our 12 passenger maxi van is a 2000 and a horid primer gray (we’ll paint it someday!). We named her Bertha and paid $3000 cash. She’s ugly but we love her and love not having a payment!
Heidi Underhill says
This is great. I would love to be more frugal.
But I am wondering about the house buying thing.
We bought a house with a loan. IT is a smaller home – 1,400 sq. feet – 3 bedrooms. We live here with 7 peopel and a dog. But out payments are $500. To rent this same house it would be $900.
So it seems strange to me that you would choose to rent. Are you saving to buy a home?
Amy says
We move a lot. It doesn’t make sense to buy for us…we would never get ahead. So, yes, it does cost more to rent in the short term look at things (except we are not paying for any repairs), but in the long term look, trying to sell a house every few years and pick up and move for my husband’s job would be cost prohibitive. We’ve been able to take opportunities as they have come because there wasn’t a house to sell. We are putting away money, and perhaps, someday we will buy a house, but we will need to be more settled than we are right now for that to be a good investment.
Heidi Underhill says
IC. We bought our house and have lived her for 14 years. If we had been wise, we could have paid it off by now. But we are just plodding away.
Jenni says
#5 really resonated with me – “We do not make a big deal about things we cannot afford.” My husband and I are in the midst of paying off a significant amount of student loans after he decided to switch careers. There are a lot of things we can’t afford right now, even though we are grateful for the important things like a home, health insurance, etc. I think that a lot of it does have to do with choices like you said, but I would also think that someone on a very limited income or someone who is trying their hardest to find work/better paying work but can’t is in a place where there are truly some things they cannot afford.
Your post reminded me to check myself when I say, “If money wasn’t an issue, I would do xyz,” because it can lead to a spirit of covetousness.
Julie says
We have had a mortgage nearly the entire duration of our 22 year marriage. Renting only became a neccessity when we were newly married, in which our first home was duplex which we rented. The second and third times in which we rented were when we had no choice , had sold our house before we had found another one, and were still house hunting or looking for that ideal home as far as location, size and school district. etc. So, renting we presumed, was only for those “transition” times in our lives. We are debt-free now, except of course, for our current home, in which our mortgage pymt is just under 1,000 monthly. We are considering the possibly putting our house up for sale and down sizing, as our two children are now 15 and 18 years old. However, it seems that renting as an option would cost us more money. The cost of rent seems to be getting higher and higher, rental homes seem to be more run-down, and the utilities with many rental homes are over the roof. (Currently, we only pay a “set” water bill of $60 per month, which includes a homeowners association fee in it. But, it is never more than $60, regardless of how much water that we use.) Can you suggest any advantages to renting over having a mortgage? We only see red flags so-to-speak, and would love to see some advantages!
Amy says
I think this is definitely a case-by-case and completely circumstantial issue. For us, it makes no sense to buy. We have never lived anywhere more than 3 years. My husband’s job moves us a lot. Eventually, we may be more “settled”, but we see ourselves as pilgrims who live a more “liquid” lifestyle. We have to be able to move on a moment’s notice (this last time we had 3 weeks), so selling a house makes that difficult. There are people in similar circumstances to us who feel they need to buy a house as a status symbol. We’ve chosen to not care. So, in your case, I’d say prayerfully consider if the house is tying you down from being able to do more things as the Lord calls you to them, or is this where He has you. 🙂
Julie says
Thank u Amy…I shared this wisdom with my husband tonight! You have been a blessing to me in this search of where He will lead our family. I never thought about it that way before!
Laurie Race says
We are on a pre-pay electric plan and can check our daily usage and the cost. I noticed our electric was much higher on laundry days, so I try to do as much laundry one day a week as possibly and make all my loads full. Clean socks and underwear everyday, but everything else we wear until dirty. We have all electric and have learned to switch breakers off when not using things. Many things pull power even when turned off. Our water heater is turned on early in the morning and usually has enough hot water for 1 shower from the day before. If we aren’t using hot water for several hrs, the water heater breaker is off. Doing these things, we cut our electric down from 150-170 a month down to 75-125 a month. Huge difference! We’re on a farm and if the wind is out of the north/east it stinks, so then we have to have windows closed and run the a/c, but I try to keep it set at 77. Heat is set at 68 right now, but 53 at night and we have warm pj’s and quilts and blankets.
Amy says
Those are great tips!
MaegaN says
Thank you for your honestly and information!! I have felt for many years that I was “less than” because we rent out home and at this time still could not afford to have a mortgage….. I never really looked at this as a good thing…. Taking on hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt is no small deal… And honestly, I don’t know what God has for us in the future…but for now I will look at this with a different set of glasses!! Thanks!!
Amy says
I do think there is a stigma attached to renting. God has provided for us over and over again through our renting, so I just try to ignore what others may think about it. Plus, Ty has always felt very strongly that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. 🙂
Phyllis Sather says
I couldn’t have said it better.
Andie Birdsell says
Amy, I just love these posts. Thank you for helping us think more frugal rather than convenience. I think we live in such a convenience mindset here in the U.S. that we forget to be good stewards of what God has put in our care. Andrea, I loved your comment about the van! Thank you for that! 🙂 and you made me laugh when I read the Clifford thing, I dont really truly laugh at many things (the kind that brings joy to my heart) but you made me laugh and filled my spirit with joy. I love how God can use our situations to show us how truly blessed we are 🙂 Amy, I love seeing someone else who is a renter being debt free. We have chosen to rent and try our best to stay debt free rather than to buy and have a loan. Mostly b/c we dont want to be tied to debt. If my husbands job changed or we felt the Lord leading us somewhere else, then we feel free to go. If we had a loan, it would be a roadblock. We love the freedom to be able to say, if God chooses to call us somewhere else, we can just go! 🙂 Yes, it may be cheaper to buy monthly in the sense of a payment but we choose to rent instead. Couple questions on the frugal side: do you wash clothes in cold water? What about undies and towels? Is it ok to wash them in cold and hang dry or would this not be sanitary enough? What about dishes in dishwasher? Do you feel ok about washing them in the dishwasher with soap in cold water or would that not be sanitary enough? Is it cheaper to keep your own chickens for eggs or buy in bulk at Costco (compared to the cost of feeding chickens in order to have the eggs). So Amy, I have some Moms (one of 7 and one of 9) who said it is definitely cheaper to buy at Costco but if I remember correctly in your experience, didn´t you say it? cheaper to shop at cheaper stores than at bulk place like Costco? Thanks ladies! 🙂
Amy says
There is one big reason we do not keep chickens – we travel a lot. God has us in a place right now where we travel extensively. So, for us buying from the store makes total sense. And yes, I’ve never seen the benefit of buying from a big box store. We do a lot of our shopping at Aldi and it’s hard to beat those prices. The only thing I’ve ever seen a better deal on at a big box store is paper goods, and that’s not all the time. Yes, I get tired of opening 15 cans of tomato sauce, but I’m saving money. 😉 I do wash a lot in cold, but towels and undies (and cloth diapers when I’m doing that) are in a warm/hot setting. If you have a good sunny day to hang clothes in, then by all means wash them in cold and let the sun sanitize them! As for dishes, I do think the water needs to be fairly hot, but we never set them to dry (my mom taught me to open the dishwasher up as soon as it finished so it can air dry). Hope that helps!
Andie Birdsell says
Awesome, Thank you Amy! So I tried that with the dishwasher and the dishes always come out very spotty (I feel embarrased when I hand them to company b/c they look like they haven been washed. Do you use something like a spot free rinse cleanser or anything or just let them air dry & not care about the water spots?) That? great to know about the shopping, lately I hear a lot about Aldi?. I´ve never seen one where we live in the Fresno, CA area. Do you know what would be comparable we have Winco, Food Max, Grocery Outlet, Walmart, Trader Joes. Not sure what areas you have lived in but do any of these ring a bell as comparable to Aldi??
Andie Birdsell says
Just wanted to let you know of a great website i just found (you may already know about it) called cheapism.com It gives lists of the cheapest brands/places to purchase items and has coupons on the site too!
Amy says
Aldi prices are usually better than WalMart. You can check locations here: http://www.aldi.com/
Ellie M. says
I especially like #5 and 6. We have chosen the wording, “we choose not to spend our money on that” when our kids ask for things or wonder why we don’t do or buy some things. I was raised being very aware of our lack or needs financially. Even as a little child I worried about the bills! I also felt that we were less fortunate and kind of felt sorry for myself. As an adult I see things so differently. I was VERY fortunate because my mom introduced me to Jesus, and in light of the fact that I am a member of God’s Kingdom, finances don’t control my happiness or sense of security. Besides, in this day and age you can “afford” anything you want if you’re willing to have debt. When I or my husband think about some of these things or find ourselves wanting something that wouldn’t be a wise purchase we remind ourselves that we may not have it all, but what we do have is actually ours… not the banks! I really enjoyed the comment about the big bird van! Lol!
Amy says
Yes, it feels very good to know that we truly OWN what we own. 🙂
Natalie says
We’ve been renting all 7yrs of our marriage, because we also travel often. These past 2yrs (overseas) we’ve rented furnished apartments. Do you have any tips for how to deal with the destruction that little boys can cause? Our kids have ripped wallpaper, drawn on the wall, soiled the rugs, ripped the front-load door off the washing machine, bent cupboard hinges…I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting!
Amy says
I spend a lot of time telling them (over and over) to be careful with things they own, I own, others own because it is important (especially when you rent!) I do not allow balls to be thrown in the house or much rough-housing in the house at all. They still try, but when I see them getting like that in the house, I try to either send them outside or find some sort of constructive play inside (sometimes that simply means throwing some of them in a bath or even just separating one or two of them off from the group – what a huge difference that makes!).
Bec says
It’s really great to here about the renting part. I get so sick of people thinking that owning is a status thing. In Australia it’s like if you don’t own a home you not good enough. And no one wants to know you . We bought a place and ended up being a total disaster caused a lot of stress and waste of money. Homes often decrease in value the older they get so you never get what you put into it. I see no point in buying cos you can’t take it with you. We have rented for years and find It is so much better. It brings more flexibility as well and can move at the drop of a hat. My attitude is, it says in the bible to not store your treasures on earth. But to store them up in heaven. For a lot of people owning gives security, but nothing gives you that security that Jesus can give you. For me it’s so refreshing to hear other familys that rent.
Sarah says
I loved the comment “Some people don’t understand why we choose to rent rather than buy.” because our families didn’t understand our choice. Instead of purchasing a house, we purchased a mobile home (or trailer). Even though we have to rent the land that it sits on, the rent is only $270/mth. You can’t find 3 bed/2 bath apartments for that price no matter where you look! Plus we haven’t completely decided, even now 15 yrs later, if we want to retire in the area that we’re in. It’s much easier to move a house that is built to be moved to another state than it is to move one with a foundation (or even sell/buy another for that matter). It just opens up a huge discussion on how some acts of frugality will work for some but the complete opposite will work for another.