A few weeks ago, I was frazzled and venting to my 17 year old son. I felt like I was always trying to catch up, there was always too much to do, I was being pulling in 9 million different directions, and on top of it all, I ended up burning dinner! He looked at me, and said in that frank way of his, “You’re trying to do too much, mom.”
His words washed over me in a moment of clarity, and I realized all my multi-tasking was causing nothing but stress, and I knew something had to change.
From the moment I get up in the morning until the moment I go to bed, I multi-task. Certainly, mothers are known for this skill, but I wonder how many of us are being stressed and worn down by trying to multi-task our entire day?
I was certain I could not get everything done if I didn’t multi-task all day long. I had fallen into the habit of eating standing up so I could keep working, teaching multiple children different subjects all at the same time, working on several blog projects in several different browser windows, and doing so many things while cooking our dinner that I ended up forgetting I was even cooking (until I smelled it burning)!
The very day my son said those words to me, I chose to quit multi-tasking. I chose to make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time, and if possible see that one thing through to the end (VERY difficult with a lot of children underfoot). And so far, life is MUCH calmer.
Here’s how I’m doing it:
*I don’t start a project I don’t have time for. I was notorious for thinking I could squeeze one more thing in only to find I could not finish it. And there it would sit – started, but undone – which is worse than waiting to be started, in my opinion.
*I try to see things through to completion if possible. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but if I start a project, I need to stay focused on that project until I have it finished. A bunch of undone projects causes major stress.
*I ask the children not to interrupt me. This is a hard one, but if you teach a child to put his hand on you until you can acknowledge him, you will find you can quickly get to a stopping point that makes sense and will allow you to pick back up more easily. I also have to often explain to the children that I am currently doing XYZ, and will get to them as soon as I finish XYZ. They don’t often realize how busy I am, so this helps to understand what I am busy with and why they need to wait.
*Make lists to keep you on track. Write down the things you need to do and refer to it often. And nothing, absolutely nothing feels as wonderful as checking off things on your list!
*I remind myself when I start to wander that I am not multi-tasking. Our fast-paced online lifestyle has given most of us popcorn brain – myself included. Everything we do is one click away. We think everything should be efficient and lickety-split, but our patience has grown thin, and our brains flighty. It takes effort to remind myself that I have to stay on task, but it so worth it! More items on my to-do list are getting checked off, and that is such a good feeling!
Is multi-tasking affection your life? Could you benefit from slowing down and seeing things through to completion? Try not multi-tasking (within reason, of course) today, and let me know how it goes! Did you notice a difference? Did you get more done (and done better)?
Peta says
Hi Amy, you are so right! I do the same thing, trying to multitask everything. I start so many things and finish very few things and it’s very frustrating! This morning I was running around holding my moisturiser with a few dabs of it on my face but then I started doing the brekky dishes, then started getting my 3 year old dressed. I soon realised that it would be much more productive if I just stood in the bathroom and finish putting it on. I need to learn that everything else will be okay if it waits for me to finish something. Love your blog, I check it everyday. 🙂
Peta
Amy says
Thank you, Peta! And yes, it is more productive to just finish something – I will probably always have to remind myself of that.
Sheri Graham says
Hi Amy, You are right on! I think that is why I love my To Do list so much is that it keeps me focused on one thing at a time. If I try to do too many things at once, I end up doing nothing, or nothing very well! Thanks for sharing :)!
Amy says
Exactly!
ChristinA says
I am reading your blog while nursing #7, listening to a two year old “reason” with an 8 year old, boiling eggs ( ok now the timer is beeping), the kitchen is half-way cleaned, the two year old is now stomping, I am now yelling at her to be quiet and not wake her father who is sleeping due to night shift, and typing this. I have no idea why multi-tasking is a problem! Lol gotta go finish breakfast so I can finish cleaning kitchen so we can start school (5 different subjects for 5 kids). Wait, what was this post about again……
Amy says
HA! slow and steady wins the race… 😉
Christina says
Lol! My names christina too and nursing my seventh while teaching 5 kids and cleaning rabbit cage and typing. ya multi- task . Plus I have laundry going needs to be folded soon. How do you not multi-task? My list seems to never end. Plus I’m in school. But good reminder to slow down.
Amy says
I write it all down and FORCE myself to try to FINISH one thing before starting another thing. No, I can’t always do this, and yes, there are some things that can be multi-tasked without losing productivity, but there are LOTS of things I would do so much better (and yes, even quicker) if I would just do that one thing to completion. My advice – start small and see how it goes. Give yourself permission to do ONE thing. 🙂
Lisa says
I think I could really use the sound advice you shared Amy. I try and do too much at once, and then get frustrated when everything takes way longer then it should. I’m going to try being intentional today at not multitasking as much: we will see how it goes! Thank you.
Lea says
This is SO timely! I read about this in a Costco new letter that I then lost, but I am planning a 2 week trip with our family of 8 to see relatives in another state and feeling overwhelmed by how much keeps falling through the cracks and left undone. Thank you!
Lea says
I found it! By Devora Zack “MULTITASKING IS A myth. The brain is hardwired to do one thing at a time. When we think we’re multitasking we are actually engaged in what neuroscientists call “task switching”—switching rapidly between tasks. Attempting to multitask lowers IQ, shrinks the brain’s gray matter and lowers productivity by 40 percent, according to studies.
We are living distracted lives, resulting in what I call “scattered brain syndrome.” Allow me to introduce singletasking.
Singletasking means developing a heightened focus and accomplishing more by living fully in the present. You can improve your relationships and your quality of life by reclaiming control and remembering what matters.
You can do one thing well or two things poorly.”
It goes on to give suggestions aimed at business people, but I felt an inner “Amen” to this.
Amy says
OH WOW! LOVE THAT! Thank you for sharing!
Kina says
Very enlightening!!!
Rebecca says
I am a multi-tasker lover and while that sometimes comes to bite me in the ankles, a lot of times it depends on just what I am trying to get accomplished. I’m pretty good at doing several things at one time but not big projects, like an art project while trying to get supper ready and on the table. Those would not mix. But I can give spelling words, wash dishes and brown meat all at the same time while a load of laundry is going. I know better than to bring out my sewing machine and start a project unless I have at least 2 hours to devote to it. However, I can usually listen to the radio or a sermon on CD or podcast while sewing. So, again, it depends. I love to find ways to do that won’t frustrate and will benefit. I live by a to-do list but I don’t die by it…..meaning, I love seeing things get checked off but sometimes things don’t. I just circle them and try again tomorrow. My main thing is to see all my to-do list finished by the end of the week but last week we got 9 inches of rain so absolutely nothing on my “need to do outside” list got done. It’s transferred to this week and we have a sunny week coming up so I hope I can get it done.
I love your E-butterfly! I do dislike that I have to click through on my email and bring up your blog when I want to read. I used to just read your post in my email and if I wanted to comment or ask a question I would click through to comments. I don’t know if clicking through helps make more money or helps with counting traffic, etc. but I like to read in my email and it’s just quicker for me. Other than that 1 point, I like the new look and everything else!
Carol says
Glad Rebecca understood what happened to your website and explained it to the rest of us! I, too, don’t care to have to click to get the read the rest, but that is what made me realize there is a “Comments” section, and I’m sure it helps you to have all the comments in the same place, instead of in e-mail as I have done in the past! I can get used to “clicking”. Does that give you an advantage in the internet world?
Amy says
Actually, the truncated feed is a mistake – I think I found the problem and it won’t do that anymore!
Amy says
It’s still truncating feed in the email? I thought I had that fixed! Sorry about that! I did not mean for it to do that, so I’ll work on that. Thank you for letting me know!
Carol says
About two days ago, my husband suggested that I try not to start something until the last job is finished! I made some lame excuse about saving time by doing several things at once–such as, brew the iced tea, load the dishwasher, talk on the phone, and still have the clothes out that I am in the process of folding, as well as the ones I am in the process of sorting to keep or donate! You can imagine the mess! So I have been trying to do one thing before I start another! I’m still in the learning process! But it was fun to read this at just this time
Jennifer says
Thanks for that reminder and clarity. I am feeling completely inept and I think that this is why. I start so much and never get back to it, constantly distracted by the next thing. Great words of wisdom!
Sasha says
Yes! I’m the same way and it has dawned on me recently that I’m actually less efficient because of multi tasking! Excellent post!
L says
Thank you for all your encouraging posts. I have 2 children and homeschool. Keep on plodding. God does not expect us to be superwoman. Just keep following His ways. You are doing great! God bless you sister.
Phyllis Sather says
Aren’t sons wonderful? Mine told me the same thing one day when we were running errands. He told me I had to slow down and enjoy myself.
Amy says
He truly is a blessing to me 🙂
Cheryl says
I very much needed this today. I found myself flitting from cleaning the table, to pulling out half the breakfast foods to cook, to running to the potty with a kiddo and nothing was being accomplished. Again, thank you!
Amy says
You are welcome! It really is amazing how much better things are when I give myself permission to do ONE THING.
Kelly says
YES!!! I just wrote a blog post on multitasking and it is amazing how many women are in this same position! Thanks so much for sharing. Sometimes, I think we are the only ones out there that struggle until we open up and get amazing feedback from amazing women that struggle with the same things.
Amanda says
Wow, I needed this! I have so many started projects I can no longer count them. I may read this everyday for awhile to remind my self to focus on one thing at time. Thanks, Amy.
Amanda
Amy says
I literally have to tell myself this several times a day, so feel free to read this over and over. 😉
Mrs.Momof7 says
OH YES!! I have been there!! I was frazzled, and discontent. And I blamed the media! Seriously my attention span is like ADD from so many years of internet use! I have had to do the same thing, but I don’t think I realized I was doing it. The hand on my arm, and telling the kids “Hey just a sec, I’m working on something” and having to actually FOCUS on cooking dinner! yep… I’m so glad you wrote this post, because now I can use your points to be more purposeful about not multi-tasking.
I have taken to doing my school planning in my bedroom, with the door closed. Also, I only teach one child one lesson at a time, which has meant I have had to cut back on the lessons I teach, but surprisingly this has not harmed our school… since the kids get a better, more focused instruction period, they need me later far less often!
God bless!
Amy says
Amen and Amen!
Josi says
“What’s that smell?” Sniff, sniff…”What is that? Where is that smell coming from?” Oh, that’s right, an hour ago I was baking cupcakes!…..before I re-laced that shoe, braided the doll’s hair, and fixed snack cups of fishy crackers. The bonus that day was the black, cement-like cupcakes doubled as weapons in case of an intruder! Multi-tasking? Hmm, not my strong suit!
Sheila says
So thankful for women like you. Women of wisdom and real life! Our society puts moms in such a unrealistic… ungodly sometimes, expectation bracket. He says his burden is easy and light. Motherhood is trying…. but rewarding. It takes an investment…trial and error! Much crying out to Him. So thankful for this post and the one on being ‘normal’. I have a hard time sometimes feeling like I don’t do enough. That is a trick of satan. The way to decipher those tricks, is to put on the whole armor of God! What a relief! God bless 🙂
Jessica says
I know i’m commenting late on this post, but, wanted to make a point of why i try not to multitask any longer. I found that i was doibg this while children were trying to talk to me and they were not getting my full attention and i felt lije this was telling them they were not important enough. So i really try to not multi task when it comes to lustening to children, they need to know they are important.
Reggie says
This sounds a lot like what I began doing a year or so ago. I take a piece of scrap paper (copy paper with one side blank yet) divide it into thirds width wise and then make six ‘cubes’ out of the lower two thirds. On the top open third, I make a list of the various projects I’d like to get done that week then label the cubes Monday through Saturday. After marking in daily housework and appointments/commitments in the appropriate cube, I refer to my above list and see what I can still fit where without overwhelming myself. This has been a HUGE blessing and I accomplish so much more while easily keeping my sanity!