Who We Were Before We Were Raising Arrows

Once upon a time, we didn’t have children.

Hard to believe, huh?

I had a reader ask what my family was like as a child and how that has influenced my adult life, specifically in the areas of raising a large family and homeschooling.  (seriously loaded question considering my mother – HI MOM! – reads my blog!)

So, I’ll do my best to give specifics of how my upbringing contributed to my adulthood and the raising of a large family.

*I was raised knowing I was very much wanted. My mom and dad had 3 children each when they got married.  Most of those children were adults.  My mom was 36 and my dad was 52 when I was born.  I heard time and again how they chose my name, stories of my childhood…how they used to turn off the TV and watch Amy…and a myriad of other stories.  There was no doubt that having me that late in life was a good thing.

*I went everywhere with my parents. I was not an inconvenience or a burden to be left at home with a sitter.  I was taught how to behave in public by being in public.  And my parents actually LIKED having me around.

*I was taught that homemaking was important. My mom never worked outside the home (she did clean the church and run a daycare during my growing up years).  I came home from school for lunch because the cafeteria couldn’t cook like my mom.  My laundry was always done and the house was always tidy.  My mom waited hand and foot on my dad and never grumbled about it.  She took her job seriously.

*I was as homeschooled as a public schooled child could be. It was not uncommon for my parents to take me out of school in order to go on a trip with them.  But, we didn’t just go on trips to have fun.  They ALWAYS included visits to museums, historical sites, and other educational type places and events.  Neither one of my parents had a college education, but learning was very important to both of them, and they instilled in me a love of learning as well.

Now, what about Ty…

*He was taught to work hard and work with integrity. There’s not a lazy one in the bunch.  Ty has always had a job and always worked hard to support us.  We got married young (18 & 19), but we survived and even thrived.

*Family is important. I think a lot of this came from his grandparents on both sides.  They took the time.  They did it in different ways, but it taught Ty that spending time with your family is important and something of high value.

*Be comfortable in your own skin. Ty was always encouraged to be who he was which in turn, made him quite comfortable with doing things differently than others.  Now, as someone who lives a fairly counter-cultural life, it is quite handy to be fine with being different.

*He was taught to laugh. A sense of humor surrounds his family.  When you have a bunch of kids, a sense of humor is a must…trust me.

The same reader who asked about my upbringing also asked if my family was/is supportive of my large family and my homeschooling.  The honest answer would be that they are hesitant, but supportive.

And I understand why.

This is something I try to explain to anyone who talks to me about their family thinking they are freaks for living out their convictions concerning childbearing and schooling.  You have to remember you are their flesh and blood.  They worry about you.

I know my mom has fears over my health and fears over our finances.  She wants the best for us.  It’s not a bad thing.

We have to realize our counter-cultural convictions don’t just affect us. We have to have compassion and understanding for our family, and for those of you who have to endure repeated criticism, you also must often exercise that little fruit of the Spirit called Longsuffering.  Be steadfast and enduring, but leave the snotty and antagonistic at home.  Remember the things of your childhood that have made you who you are today.  Remember the legacy.

Be thankful.

Be humble.